After spending his life searching for the perfect cheeseburger, Brutus has changed his dietary habits from the ground up and actually started eating healthy. The change in diet has led to a 55lb weight loss.

“I wasn’t going to mention it to anyone, but when I started running into people, they thought I was ill,” said Brutus as he crammed a fork full of organic lettuce into his mouth while simultaneously eyeing an ice cream sundae across the restaurant.

Lou said there is no particular secret of such a large weight loss in just three months. “Lots of water. Lots of fresh veggies and eight ounces of protein a day. No sugar, no carbs, no dairy.”

The rest of his comments were inaudibile due to the volume of his growling stomach.